January 2012
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I’ve been wearing a robe all day because it is easy access to masturbate since I really gotta hit my goal of masturbating 666 times in one year. (I’m at 665 with 6 hours left.)
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Smile worthy moments of 2011
Getting arrested at Fairview Mental Institution.
Creating my first batch of Jello shots.
Combat driving for the first time.
Hanging out with Pauly D’s doppleganger, an X-ray technician, topless.
Drunken occult rituals with Noah, Colin, and Seve at the lake house while my parents were away.
Those 2 perfect bags of popcorn while drunk with Colin.
Beating Zelda Ocarina Of Time in a...
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December 2011
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Anonymous asked: You masturbate so much. How many times a day do you think you do it? 5 or 6?
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cosmo tip #125
expertcosmotips:
to make your new years’ sexcapades special and exciting, stick a lit sparkler in his ass! the more adventurous can try a roman candle ;)))
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Anonymous asked: Khameron has peppermint schnapps
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deejul asked: Those penis cupcakes were really poorly done. If you're going to penis on a cupcake, I expect at least a little more effort on the craftsmanship. Go big or go home. Literally.
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things are nyce
Things I've found in my room:
valentines chocolate box full of oxicodone
Shoeboxes full of pieces of paper and photos and tiny little things like wetnaps or prune candy that have huge memories attached
a pirate costume
Paintings from years ago
Hamburger ornament
Polaroid sheet film
A stack of Britney spears cd’s, I’ll count soon
I want to create a collage of people's rooms
Send me pictures of your rooms people
Cleaning my room has so many benefits
room to dance
room to stretch
my bed can be put in
room for my IV pole
room for parties
room for friends
no more anxious cluttered panic attacks
My room has been messy for like 3 days and it’s already messier than it’s been in a long time. I’m scared
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She said, hello mister
pleased to meet ya,
Don’t you know that i need somebody,
need somebody like you.
I lost sight in your arms tonight,
it was nice.
Deer in the headlights,
Once I was told, but like any misfit,
I spit on some good advice.
You gotta see the artistry
In tearing the place apart with me baby.
Let’s break it
(just because we can)
Do you want to go to the...
“~*~I just want a hot dog right meow~*~”
– Quynh “Horny” Nguyen
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“Fuck everything that isn’t edible.”
– Sara DeNoyo (via castorr)
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we should start a "we hate michael club"
me: my grandfather died when i was 9
michael castellanos: sorry what i was looking at myself no wait nevermind I'm not sorry did you know I'm better than you ~~*CHILLWAVVES*~~~
I just keep drinking water
pints and pints and pints this medicine is making me delirious I can’t stop thinking about tacos that feel like vagina i think this is the new age plague i’m dehydrated
I get my IV out tomorrow no more time limits that’ll be nice it’ll also be nice to be able to shower without covering my arm my life is really nice besides the part which CF affects negatively which oops...
Last night
I had a dream that Ben was both Link and Jesus. Link being the hero of time and Jesus being the “creator” of all things good, I’d say this is a really good representation of Ben in the waking world. My subconscious is struggling in symbolism.
bennybenjamin:
If life extends after death into infinity, then what value does today hold?
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All semen is sacred.
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expectorate replied to your post: Sum times masturbating solo just doesn’t do it, so…
oh my god get off sara’s tumblr i’m having secondhand embarrassment
I wish he’d listen
Sum times masturbating solo just doesn’t do it, so I bring my cat in the room and pet both my pussys